Friday, June 19, 2009

THE WILD OLD WICKED MAN


'BECAUSE I am mad about women
I am mad about the hills,'
Said that wild old wicked man
Who travels where God wills.
'Not to die on the straw at home.
Those hands to close these eyes,
That is all I ask, my dear,
From the old man in the skies.'
Daybreak and a candle-end.

'Kind are all your words, my dear,
Do not the rest withhold.
Who can know the year, my dear,
when an old man's blood grows cold?
I have what no young man can have
Because he loves too much.
Words I have that can pierce the heart,
But what can he do but touch?'
Daybreak and a candle-end.

Then Said she to that wild old man,
His stout stick under his hand,
'Love to give or to withhold
Is not at my command.
I gave it all to an older man:
That old man in the skies.
Hands that are busy with His beads
Can never close those eyes.'
Daybreak and a candle-end.

'Go your ways, O go your ways,
I choose another mark,
Girls down on the seashore
Who understand the dark;
Bawdy talk for the fishermen;
A dance for the fisher-lads;
When dark hangs upon the water
They turn down their beds.'
Daybreak and a candle-end.

A young man in the dark am I,
But a wild old man in the light,
That can make a cat laugh, or
Can touch by mother wit
Things hid in their marrow-bones
From time long passed away,
Hid from all those warty lads
That by their bodies lay.
Daybreak and a candle-end.

'All men live in suffering,
I know as few can know,
Whether they take the upper road
Or stay content on the low,
Rower bent in his row-boat
Or weaver bent at his loom,
Horseman erect upon horseback
Or child hid in the womb.'
Daybreak and a candle-end.

'That some stream of lightning
From the old man in the skies
Can burn out that suffering
No right-taught man denies.
But a coarse old man am I,
I choose the second-best,
I forget it all awhile
Upon a woman's breast.'
Daybreak and a candle-end.


William Butler Yeats
Irish Poet 1865-1939

Friday, June 5, 2009

Chapter 8:Forgiveness


It's been a few months. Lisa moved in, keeping her place as a studio, a bed and kitchen for when she worked late. We've had little time to talk. Her mom had passed in December. Hit her hard. She withdrew into her work, threw herself into making the deal for the gallery/workshop. Her final meeting is today with the landlord, the city and the college. It's early spring now. She calls around five on Friday.
"Hey"
"Hey"
"What's up?"
"Got some news"
"You made the deal?"
"I'll tell you when I get home"
"OK, I'll be here"
She sails in the door, red hair flying, mischief prowling in her rogueish green eyes. I lift her up and spin her around. She lays a kiss on me like it would be our last.
"Marry me", she says
"I thought I already asked you that? Remember, you said yes"
"I mean now"
"Well, can it wait till after dinner? I've been cooking all afternoon."
"Silly, you know what I mean"
"I do, are you sure?"
"Yes, I need you in my life"
"I'll be there no matter what, and don't start crying"
"I'll take a quick shower"
Gave me another kiss.
"I love you"
"You only say that because I fixed your favorite"
"Spaghetti?"
"And meatballs, your Mom's recipe"
She sidles down the hall. Leaves me standing there, shaking my head.
I call after her,"How'd the meeting go?"
"Great. Everybody's on board. We'll have the first floor of the theatre and the carriage house in the back. I'ts going to be a home for all disciplines.
I signed you up for the writer's workshop."
"Thanks for asking me"
"I know how to get you to say yes"
She reached back for her bra strap and shooed me out.
"Can't I watch?"
"You'll get yours soon enough"
I finished the table. Candles and flowers I had stashed back in the cove. The water in the shower ran…and ran…and ran. Strange. I walked down the hall and called, "Lisa? You all right?"
She was sitting on the floor against the mirror, naked and trembling.
I pulled her robe off the hook and draped around her. Sat down, wrapped my arms and pulled her close.
"Lisa, what's wrong?"
She took my hand and placed it under her breast, pinced two fingers along a small, hard, pea-sized shape. I didn't say a word, just held tighter and rocked her.

SURRENDER

We live by our own terms
amidst the swirls and eddies
vagrancies of time
Brothers and mothers
sisters and fathers
sons and daughters
friends and lovers
Now our gods come to play
in the backyards of our mind
Relinquish control
join in the sandbox of our soul