Dark horses
memories ride
high in the saddle
flush with the horn

Time,
time of generations
all looking askew
askance

Perchance to dream
comes to naught
lights of blue moon
powder dry

moon river

Half moon, crescent, full
hang in the heavens
Time is terrible
ameliorates the pain

Life is walking through
a history of accidents
Find me a river
I can skate away on

I write randomly
in circular motion
circuitous routes
to the bottom of desire

I write in quatrains
can't think past my finger
thoughts collide
in a smattering

Worms crawl up
birds fly away
time in the middle
spins my tale

So I die in a poem
my life is a poem
doubt, hope, despair
unter rad

Head in the sand
feet in the sky
zebra lines
parallel

AQUA EYES

Ocean so natural and blue
just a quiet sound, a whisper sound
a voice all it's own
In lust and all it's splendor
Why? Why? O aqua blue
No objective, no wall, no not at all
You and only you pay attention
and we can go far
Help me! Help me!
Can't you see how

a poem by Kae

WIRE

Juggler on a tightrope
winds a way through
birth, death, rebirth

Comes a time
then Nebraska smoke
reflects off a glassy pond

Sand hills run on forever
old man beside me
trailer behind

It's cold, it's December
full wolf moon
awaits the snow

overtakes us all

FAITH

If it's too cold then whisper

Gray clouds
Fringed magenta
Azure fissures
Pastel light

LIFE BLOOD

Ebb and flow
starts and stops
travellers pulse through
the veins of the city
"Carpe diem!" comes the silent cry
from the chorus on the bus
Delivers and taketh away

FAMILY CONVERSATION

Living in a fish bowl under a microscope
Neighbors correct your style to fit their shoes
Walk upon the water of subsistence
two miles, one for me, one for you

Family defined in frames of time
Minds determined to survive
together in the cultivated soil
generations toiled beside

Justice prays the beggar soul
Love cries the louder lion

TODAY!!

Guess what I did:"TODAY"!:

I woke up and was blessed

Seen a lot of things, people on my way

Today:"God" told me, "I passed the test!"

I had so much fun, I paid attention:

people talked, laughed, worried, and played

"But", sometimes people fail to, Really,

really give recognition:

I heard, "I'm proud 2-B-here "TODAY"!

The Past: Learn and always give thanks!

The Present: Your special gift for "TODAY"!

The Future: Your opportunity to make a better "TODAY"!

Its never too late to find something just in you,

given just to you,

special only in you!

So how much did you learn.

Always acknowledge "Him" in your own way,

"He" will guide your path,

What did you see?, learn?, say?:

How did you pray:

Just for "TODAY"!

a poem by KAE

INNOCENCE

So wise in the ways of the world

thrown to lions in the cage

the man in the mirror

other than thou

Replenish my soul in your eyes

dark clouds drifting before

the fierce fire of morning

Day of triple nines

September change

Venus stands her distance

from the crescent moon

Peace in the Valley

Let me love you

I watch the butterfly
admire its beauty
want to hold it in my hand
but then it would no longer be free

I know you care

An enigma
so strong and unbending
so fragile and needy
I can touch your wings
the flutter of your heart
is the beat of my own

Lay together

The power flows through us
each to the other
not ours alone

PILGRIM

You fit my mind
like a jigsaw puzzle
left one piece shy

You've let me in
now silhouettes subside
we meet in kind

It's faith that's hard
believing you really care
you've shown me all

Change comes with age
seasonal adjustments
my reason is you

My love is real
our future filled with hope
you're dreams are mine

DEAR, DEAR FRIEND

Dear, Dear Friend,
I count the time we spend
talking, laughing, even smiling
some how knowing, it's about to "END"

Dear, Dear Friend,
Here we are once again
Sharing, caring and even bareing
Somehow knowing, it's about to "END"

Dear, Dear Friend
Guess what, here I am again
"Not going", laugh, smile, being
A Dear, Dear Friend,
Right now today
You're my Dear Friend
And today
It's not about to end
Dear, Dear Friend!

By Kae, my dear, dear friend

BLACK BUTTERFLY

I am her wide open fields
she is my sunshine

Lucky number five
adventure and danger
and pleasure in between

Suspended animation
she disappears on new moon
steers a sway
under the swoon of stars

Comes back to me
lustrous and briliant
dancing light

The woman weaves her way
around the fire

SUNSHINE FORGIVENESS

Full moon reveals itself

through rifts in the clouds

Old man laughing

face frozen forever

in that one grim smile

The thirsty moon shines

drinking up all the shadows

that realm

where the words rhyme

and lives dwell

between the sheets

Adam's apple

fig leaf moment

only Eve would know

Unlucky

Luck pours down like rain

upon the train

to New Orleans

Back on the gulf

Blue-black water

Bayou lullaby

BIRD ON THE WIRE

Like a bird on a wire

like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free

Like a worm on a hook

like a knight in an old fashioned book

I have save all my dreams up for thee

And if I, if I have been unkind

I hope you will just let it go by

and if I, if I have been untrue

I hope you know it was never you

Like a babe stillborn

like a beast with his horn

I have torn everyone who reached out to me

But I swear by this song

and by all that I have done wrong

I will make it, make it all up to thee

I met a man, a beggar leaning on his crutch

he said to me, why do you ask for so much

I saw a woman leaning in her darkened door

she cried to me, why not ask for more

Like a bird on a wire

like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free

Leonard Cohen, 1970

CHANCE

The role of chance in life
roll of the dice
turn of the card
pick of the lottery
Carries you to a place
you may not have gone
Missed bus
leaves you standing on a lonely corner
meeting someone who changes your life
for better or worse
chance becomes the real

Is there anything else to say?
Only the Camus thing
Sysiphus was happy
pushing that rock up the hill
I'm happy pushing that rock
carrying that cross
I'm alive

DRIFTER

Cloudless skies are meaningless blue fabric
scraping the dustbowl with a spoon
piling diamonds up on rust
powder dry but the boots are wet
wading through the fields of death
Shadows crawl down the street
cover the willows and cottonwoods in sweet retreat
Beyond the azure sky
crimson ribbons
transition cream colors
from night to dawn
then all turns to mauve

Falcon on the fly
belies
the January day
when sugar bowl candy
made us all alive
on green cheese
mayonnaise
Crescent caresses the sky
between the limbs
that rustle in cool night breeze
bow

A will o' the wisp
flibber ma gidget
whatcha ma call it
wraps me up in gossamer wings
I pretend to know the difference

TALKING TO GOD

I did talk to God last night

in a dream

first time

came into the room with fanfare

white bearded old man

reminded me of Moses

sat next to me in a chair

posed a puzzle, test I suppose

"What do you see, want to be?"

"That men will live in peace,

I know we are all sinners

but that's what you're for

to forgive us."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear,

"I forvige you."

Never never land, children never grow up

No land, children are never born

Now land, springs eternal truth

TWO MINUTES FAST AND AN HOUR SLOW

Two minutes fast and an hour slow
My clock is set by daylight breaking
And the night falling down
Racing toward the past
All my foibles and failures
And the people I've left behind

I've punched a hole in this world
Not very large or very long
Just enough to get me back,
Back where I belong

THE WILD OLD WICKED MAN

'BECAUSE I am mad about women

I am mad about the hills,'

Said that wild old wicked man

Who travels where God wills.

'Not to die on the straw at home.

Those hands to close these eyes,

That is all I ask, my dear,

From the old man in the skies.'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

'Kind are all your words, my dear,

Do not the rest withhold.

Who can know the year, my dear,

when an old man's blood grows cold?

I have what no young man can have

Because he loves too much.

Words I have that can pierce the heart,

But what can he do but touch?'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

Then Said she to that wild old man,

His stout stick under his hand,

'Love to give or to withhold

Is not at my command.

I gave it all to an older man:

That old man in the skies.

Hands that are busy with His beads

Can never close those eyes.'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

'Go your ways, O go your ways,

I choose another mark,

Girls down on the seashore

Who understand the dark;

Bawdy talk for the fishermen;

A dance for the fisher-lads;

When dark hangs upon the water

They turn down their beds.'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

A young man in the dark am I,

But a wild old man in the light,

That can make a cat laugh, or

Can touch by mother wit

Things hid in their marrow-bones

From time long passed away,

Hid from all those warty lads

That by their bodies lay.

Daybreak and a candle-end.

'All men live in suffering,

I know as few can know,

Whether they take the upper road

Or stay content on the low,

Rower bent in his row-boat

Or weaver bent at his loom,

Horseman erect upon horseback

Or child hid in the womb.'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

'That some stream of lightning

From the old man in the skies

Can burn out that suffering

No right-taught man denies.

But a coarse old man am I,

I choose the second-best,

I forget it all awhile

Upon a woman's breast.'

Daybreak and a candle-end.

William Butler Yeats
Irish Poet 1865-1939

Chapter 8:Forgiveness

It's been a few months. Lisa moved in, keeping her place as a studio, a bed and kitchen for when she worked late. We've had little time to talk. Her mom had passed in December. Hit her hard. She withdrew into her work, threw herself into making the deal for the gallery/workshop. Her final meeting is today with the landlord, the city and the college. It's early spring now. She calls around five on Friday.
"Hey"
"Hey"
"What's up?"
"Got some news"
"You made the deal?"
"I'll tell you when I get home"
"OK, I'll be here"
She sails in the door, red hair flying, mischief prowling in her rogueish green eyes. I lift her up and spin her around. She lays a kiss on me like it would be our last.
"Marry me", she says
"I thought I already asked you that? Remember, you said yes"
"I mean now"
"Well, can it wait till after dinner? I've been cooking all afternoon."
"Silly, you know what I mean"
"I do, are you sure?"
"Yes, I need you in my life"
"I'll be there no matter what, and don't start crying"
"I'll take a quick shower"
Gave me another kiss.
"I love you"
"You only say that because I fixed your favorite"
"Spaghetti?"
"And meatballs, your Mom's recipe"
She sidles down the hall. Leaves me standing there, shaking my head.
I call after her,"How'd the meeting go?"
"Great. Everybody's on board. We'll have the first floor of the theatre and the carriage house in the back. I'ts going to be a home for all disciplines.
I signed you up for the writer's workshop."
"Thanks for asking me"
"I know how to get you to say yes"
She reached back for her bra strap and shooed me out.
"Can't I watch?"
"You'll get yours soon enough"
I finished the table. Candles and flowers I had stashed back in the cove. The water in the shower ran…and ran…and ran. Strange. I walked down the hall and called, "Lisa? You all right?"
She was sitting on the floor against the mirror, naked and trembling.
I pulled her robe off the hook and draped around her. Sat down, wrapped my arms and pulled her close.
"Lisa, what's wrong?"
She took my hand and placed it under her breast, pinced two fingers along a small, hard, pea-sized shape. I didn't say a word, just held tighter and rocked her.

SURRENDER

We live by our own terms

amidst the swirls and eddies

vagrancies of time

Brothers and mothers

sisters and fathers

sons and daughters

friends and lovers

Now our gods come to play

in the backyards of our mind

Relinquish control

join in the sandbox of our soul

QUALITY OF MERCY

Wide open spaces

places in my heart

longing for you

forbidden realm

held out and withdrawn

hidden within the folds of desire

night's on fire

reveal the veil of feign

disguise the pain

uncloak my love

JUKEBOX JUNKIE

Crossed the bar room floor

toward the juke box by the door

dropped in a quarter, turned the cards

looking for a song to soothe my heart

Flirted with the bartender

insulted my friend

watched the pool game in the corner

walked back to the box again

Played a song from 1973

that meant a lot to me

not so much any more

Patti came in and said hello

Bought her a drink

talked of Diane who had just passed

brought back memories as glasses clink

a toast to her and days gone past

Another tune flew into her eyes

clasped her hand and adjusted my lies

one more trip, one more time

I'll take the next one with a slice of lime

DANCE ME TO THE END OF LOVE

Above all

I am your friend

Someone who doesn't demand anything

other than for you to be you

I will listen

I will talk

while you listen

for you must be my friend too

I'm stuck in the fishing net

or is it the fishnet stockings

one thin strand of gold

circles your right nostril

while deer brown eyes circle my soul

I know I'm going to get hurt

but that one moment of heaven

is worth it

It's amazing how relationships coalesce

all the blending of heart and desire

on the verge, on the cusp

on the corner of Martindale and Hillside

on the bus

bright wood shining

WEEKEND SONG

Cassieopia paints a pentagram in the sky

draped by the shadow of night

Terrible when jest is truth

and laughter is despair

Dip into my windmill of love

you succulent sunflower

What? So What?

Mortality is a matter of time

my watch is broken

Sorry, my failure is personal

I don't share

My father is fishing lines

strung out on the stream

Ocular

An early onset

I can't remember your name

is it because

I don't have to

I've been trying to put myself back together

but all the pieces don't fit

this jigsaw muddle of a man

Maybe I'll disappear

into some nursing home

die a soft death

on a pillow of roses

THE SECOND BUS

Maybe I shouldn't be so venal
or is that venial
but then wouldn't that make me more mortal?
Ineffable
So why am I trying to speak it?
Clever, cynical, sarcastic
It's not your fault
just an accident of time

RAPTOR

Swoops up from the canal
perches in white blossomed dogwood
along the government center mall
Peregrine falcon
released twenty years ago
nest in downtown towers
feast on pigeons and occasional duck
3 1/2 ft wing span, two feet high, dive at 200mph
peering eyes, he sits just a few feet away, unconcerned
Impressive, beautiful
I look for him now everyday at lunch

MISTY MORN

Best day of the week

Driven mist billows from the buildings.

Weeping willows by the canal

dip green fingers toward the water

long, cold, lonely winter is over

MOON SHADOWS

Half moon horizon
south over the city
soft shaded silhouettes

rustle through the budding trees
Last day of winter
Forsythias ring out spring

with golden bells

Robins and cardinals

join the swelling chorus

DOUBTING THOMAS

Some wounds never heal

Sutured souls

wander

Sculpted scapes

Let me in

Let me in

your wooden land

Take me to your hidden place

Warm and real

Doubts embraced

Escape with me

Escape with me

Feel what only your love can reveal

PROVIDENCE SLEEPS

Paint the words in broad strokes across the page
backyard colors of mauve and gray
pull up close, scarlet and yellows,
dark and light and mist in between

Black holes in the center of galaxies
Oh so precious this perch we sow ourselves
Our own seed planted in the land
I'll keep my place

Brush broad the strokes of color,
ravage the palette of it's hues
I need to breathe
Nebraska and Wyoming
ghosts play upon the plains
across the valley of double rainbows
within the marsh of gurgling grass

We just moved into Pisces, overnight
with the snow and the cold
fish still under the ice
Repentance as spring
unburies the pine boxes of regret

Against the windmills of Dutch tulips
Iris orchid hearts
I huddle in my barricade of barbs and flowers
Violets and scarlet butterflies stretch their wings

Oblivion would be a blessing
rather than face the arbitrary truth
sometimes you have to face the wind
as much as it might bite your face

Stripped of all pretense
folded in desire
love unhandled
just there like a blanket

Star plagued sky
Easter morn lillies
like children past the limits of time
travel through the crucible of sublime

X

If I knocked on your door
would you let me in
as a friend?

Horizon lightens at the eastern edge

watch the ducks upon the pond

feel the fingers of the dawn

chilling touch of night

gone

I know the answer is no

once twilight is enough

BUTTERFLY

Scarlet curtain

splotches of brown and beige

grays mostly

Wind swirls between her wings

Words bleed upon the page

Stop this flow of life's most precious

Gift freely given

Past puddles on the wall

Beauty comes at a cost

Ugly is easy

No matter what you do

She'll knock at your door

Might as well let her in

Pink pants and knit vest

Charm dripping off her sleeve

As much as you resist

The long nights of loneliness, succumb

You know you'll be beaten, brow down

BADLANDS

Place is poetry

I am in my place

I am close to home

Poetry flows from this place

My life is a poem

Sometimes tragic

Sometimes magic

A prairie place

Sand Hills of Nebraska

Horizon disappears

between the grass and the clouds

Place and time mean nothing

Another friend has to go

I am left here all alone

How fallible and failed,

frail, frightful, fragile task

Lovers cannot be friends

but friends can be lovers

One of those strange juxtapositions

Dawn happens, I can't stop it

Inherent insanity, like pancakes

Butter and syrup dripping over the edge

Something about mid-winter blues

Evening shadows play off the snow

BEDROOM

Depression

Manic

Mazing

Cornfusion

Reach for the button on the box

Music accompanies me

WOLF

What is winter?

Winter is a waiting for spring

Necessary season

Culls the weak and the old

From the herd

TRAMPLED

Rohrshach floor,

salted and scoured,
scattered tracks

my tread is one

INDIFFERENCE

Time is a creaky wooden porch,
A white bearded smiling man,
Reaching forward,
asking, "Why?"
A cacophony of drunken voices,
A soldier in a field of flowers.
The stars pay no attention